Seras' Awful, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
by Cheza's Despair
Summary: Seras has had a truly bad day. At that point, nothing can go right. Will her Master help her, or make things even worse? AxS R and R please!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer:_ Sadly, I still do not own Hellsing…

_Chapter One_

Seras Victoria was having troubles deciding upon which emotion to feel at that particular point in time. For you see, part of her was so angry that she was sure she could beat her own Master in a glaring contest, and part of her wanted to cry enough to fill several large swimming pools.

This had not been, under any circumstances, a good day.

Stomping through the hallway, and down towards her room, Seras could already feel her eyes starting to water. _Wait until you're in your room… wait… wait… wait!_ The loyal staff members were literally throwing themselves out of the way to avoid her, for no one wanted to tango with a an angry/sad vampire (except, perhaps, Alucard, but he doesn't count because he's, well, Alucard).

The moment she managed to enter her room and efficiently shut the door, Seras sagged to the floor, and finally started what was to be the first of many, many minutes of crying.

Eventually, Seras managed to drag herself over to her coffin bed, taking as much comfort as possible from not moving. As quietly as possible, the still so tiny vampire hugged herself into a tiny ball and sobbed, soaking both her pillow and pieces of the blanket.

"Police Girl, is there a reason you're ruining a perfectly good pillow?" Seras hardly noticed when her Master's voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at all.

"Not (hiccup) right now (hiccup) please Master?" There was silence for a moment, and Seras actually thought that for once, Alucard had left her alone.

That was until she suddenly felt his very intimidating presence beside her in her coffin.

"Master!" She wailed loudly. "I can't handle your games right now!" Instead of his usual sarcastic or annoyed remark, she was surprised to feel his fingers over her lips, quieting her. Gently, Alucard wiped beneath her eyes, ridding her of the few tears that remained.

"What's wrong." More of a sentence than a statement, but still… He was asking her if she was okay… Sniffling, Seras looked down at blankets, biting the bottom of her lip.

" I… I don't want to bother you… Master…" Her hiccups had subsided, but a tear still managed to squeeze through every so often.

In a smooth motion, Alucard flipped the little ball of Seras over so that her back was against his chest before straightening out her legs and wrapping his arms around her. Of course, the first thing Seras did was flush as bright as a tomato.

"M-Master?"

" Go on then Seras. Explain." Taking a deep breath, Seras began her tale.

" Well Master… it first started earlier this night..."

8 8 8

_Seras woke up as always smiling happily for a secret reason. Nothing, and she really mean, NOTHING was going to put her down tonight! Not even the mission she was given about ten minutes later. She had smiled at Walter and had told him she would meet the boys in about five minutes._

_And that was where the good day pretty much ended._

_The moment her skirt had come on, she had torn it on the edge of her bed._

"_Oh no! Well… At least Walter will be able to help me…" Picking up her Harkonnen, Seras left her room. However, while ascending the stairs, she tripped on her loose shoelace, face-planting in front of several of the maids. _

_Amidst the giggles, Seras managed to push out a laugh before picking up her Harkonnen… only to loose her grip on it as it landed on her poor foot._

_Yelping loudly, Seras hopped around for a moment before composing herself, and limping quickly outside and over to her comrades who were already loading into the car. During the ride, Seras only had a few murmured whispers about her and only two snickers, a new record if any she'd had one._

_After a fairly long drive (during which Seras lost feeling completely in her ass), they arrived at a six story high, run-down building. Seras shivered, already feeling the vampires and ghouls whose scent seemed to burn her nose. As a result, she sneezed, to which not a single person said bless you. For some reason, that bothered her more than the snickers and whispers._

_Immediately she was deployed. She knew that this was a good thing, the less human lives had to be wasted the better. Moving swiftly, Seras shot down several ghouls before making her way upstairs. And while there were still several ghouls left, she knew that the boys could take care of them. Her main objective was to kill the vampires who had created them._

_As she reached the third floor, Seras' eyes narrowed as she set the Harkonnen down gently, not wanting to make any more necessary noise than needed. Drawing her pistol, Seras slowly walked up the next few flights, listening carefully._

_Reaching outside the door, Seras realized with a painful start that she was wearing her father's ring. The very ring that her father had worn when he had been on the police force._

_Seras cursed angrily when she realized that she had no pockets with which to put it into for safe keeping. Remarkably, each of them had a rather large hole in them. Not knowing what else to do, and knowing that her comrades were waiting on her, Seras entered the room, hoping for the best._

_The moment she entered, the three Freaks (she could smell the disgusting low lives even before she had come into the building) turned to look at her. The Police Girl had to hold back bile as she looked to see what they had been doing to a young woman… at least, she thought it had once been a young woman. She was long since dead and these Freaks… They…_

" _You disgusting vermin… In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen…" With her sharp shooting, Seras took out two of them before they could move. However, the third one was incredibly fast and managed to slip behind her. _

" _Too slow." For a moment, they tangoed, each punching, kicking, and finally, through an amazing amount of luck that Seras seemed to have lost, the Freak managed to disarm her, shoving her to the ground and leaving her incredibly vulnerable. He straddled her then, leaning down to smell her hair. Of course, he had then gone on about the whole "why don't we work together, we could be perfect" speech that they always gave, and as per usual, she had then terminated him._

_As she stood up, Seras saw that they had utterly destroyed that room. And not only that… But she was covered in his blood and bits of his flesh. _

"_I'm going to have to bathe for weeks to get rid of this blood… and his stench! Did he ever bathe?"_

_Stretching and gagging, Seras turned to leave before glancing down at her hand. With a large gasp, Seras realized that her father's ring, one of the only things she had left of him, was gone. _

_Instantly, she turned and dove back into the rubble, ignoring her already bruised and scraped body She wasn't sure how long she dug, frantically searching for that ring, but eventually she was pulled out of the rubble and dragged back to the van, tears streaming down her face as the horrible realization dawned on her. It was gone. Forever._

"Well Police Girl, I can understand how that could upset you, but I still don't understand why you are this upset. You can always go back to find it." Alucard continued to stare at his fledgling while her eyes began to tear up again. _Oh no…_

" Maasster!" She wailed angrily. " The entire building was blown up! There were too many ghouls to get rid of and the only way to make sure they were all dead was to destroy the building! Plus…" She sniffled as she stared back down at her scuffed up boots.

" That was just the beginning…"

_A/N: Alright, yes, I know that this is short, especially since most of them are longer. However, I wanted to see if anybody even liked it. If I get enough reviews, then the next chapter will be much longer, I promise. In any case, please read and review, because of course, they make me happy. If something doesn't make sense, don't kill me… I remain, as always, your obedient servant._

_u.u_


	2. TT

_Disclaimer:_ Guess what maaaan? I don't own ze Hellsing!

_Chapter Two_

Seras Victoria sighed as she waited, not so patiently, in her room for her Master to return. He had gone to get her some blood, seeing as how she hadn't even had any that day. Plopping down onto the floor, Seras leaned against her coffin, closing her eyes and pushing back the tears that refused to evaporate.

"I have your blood, Police Girl." This time she DID jump, as her Master was leaning right over her, his long black hair spilling over his shoulders and into her face. She frowned angrily as she snatched the blood from him. As she tore into the pack and drained it quickly, she was all too aware of her Master laughing at her.

"Wos fo funny, Aster?" This did not help, as it made him laugh even more, making her blush angrily at him.

Once she was finished with her blood pack, she took a deep, calming breath. Already she was feeling better…. Sort of…

"Police Girl..."

"What…?" She looked up from her lap, and pressed herself further back against the coffin as she realized that he was kneeling in front of her. His gloved hand came slowly up to her cheek, bringing her face up slightly farther.

He bent forward until their noses were almost touching, and in an act that completely disappointed Seras, he brought his right hand up and wiped away at an unnoticed smear on the right corner of her lips.

"Master?"

"… You had blood on your face. You should eat more carefully." Clenching her fists angrily, she took several deep breaths, staring fairly intently at the stone wall to her right.

_Huh… you know? I've never seen that stain there before. Is that a bug?_

_Does it matter, Police Girl? Are you going to continue your story or not?_

"Get out of my head Master!" He chuckled and sat at her table, his legs propped up.

"Continue." She took another deep breath. Why had she decided to tell him in the first place?

_8 8 8_

_As she gloomily walked back to the transport car, she stepped on a pile of maggots, getting several of them stuck in her boot. Cursing and shaking out her boot, Seras then attempted to make her way to the car. Luck continued to conspire against her as she tripped on the steps and busted her lip open on the floor, gaining several snickers from the men._

"_Bastards…" She muttered angrily beneath her breath before standing back up, with no help offered of course, and plopping down on the nearest seat._

"_Hey, vampire, that's MY seat. Get up!" She glared up at the man, warning him, no, DARING him to do something about it. Taking her up on the unspoken dare, he plopped down on her lap, gaining even more snorts and giggles from the rest of her crew._

"_If you do not get off of me in the next ten seconds, I'm going to tear you apart and paint my walls with your innards…" _

"Impressive, Police Girl. You really said that?"

"Yes, Master, I really did… Now let me continue."

_The man chuckled back at her, surprising the tensed up crew, who were all staring intently at them, making Seras want to squirm. It didn't help, of course, that there were still a few maggots left over in her shoe, wriggling uncomfortably around._

"_I am the highest ranking officer in Sir Integra's army at the moment. I came along to see if you were really what you were cracked up to be." His face had a smug look set into it as he rubbed it not only in her face, but the rest of the men's also. They fell on deaf ears, however, as she countered with her own._

"_There is no one as high a ranking as my Master." There were 'Ohh's' from the various men as the words left her lips. The man sitting on her lap twisted around and whispered in her ear, as he brought out a badge.  
"Perhaps. But I am the one most sent out, and you will do as I command, as I am a higher rank then you. You will stand down and sit there without moving until we return. Otherwise you will be de-ranked and put back to the desks for paperwork, is that understood?" Through gritted teeth, Seras nodded, her hands balled at her sides._

_And so it was that Seras Victoria rode the entire way back with a stinky, sweaty man sitting atop her lap. _

_8 8 8_

_When they finally made it back to Hellsing, and she was able to stand back up, she proceeded to promptly fall out of car, Harkonnen in hand, as her legs tingled unpleasantly. Amazingly enough as it was, she managed to re-split the exact place on her lips that had been almost healed._

_Standing back up, her head bowed, she turned towards the firing range. Of course! Shooting off a few rounds would do her good! Shaking out her legs to get the feeling back faster, she wobbled over to the firing range, her Harkonnen slung over her shoulder._

_When she got there, every single booth was full, and when they turned to look at her, they all snickered. None of them had been in the car with her… This meant, of course, that word had traveled fast. Now, Seras was sure that there wasn't a single troop who DIDN'T know of her embarrassing ride back as a seat. _

"_There goes what little respect I had…" She mumbled under her breath. Drawing herself up, she stomped over to the nearest man and tapped him on the shoulder._

"_Excuse me sir, but I would like to get a few shots in before having to go debrief with Sir Integra." She smiled happily at the man._

"_Nope." Her smile dropped like a hot potato from unprepared hands._

"_Excuse me?" _

"_Sorry. First come, first serve." Her rage boiled over then as she reached out, grabbed his gun and tore it from his hand. It was then that something happened that hadn't happened for years._

_He slapped her. Hard, across her cheek. The firing range had gone silent as all watched the following bout._

_Seras' eyes began to glow, softly, then more brightly as her rage took control. Her voice was dark, menacing as she said to him, _

"_You would do well to remember your place."_

"_What, and bow to some wannabe vampire who gets sat on? I think not." It was at that point when Seras punched him, holding back only a little. The man flew across the range, slamming into the wall before slumping over in a heap. _

_As the rest of the men ran towards him, she looked down at the gun she had taken from him, only to realize that she had crunched the barrel beyond use when she had clenched her fists._

"_Damn it all!" Fuming, Seras threw the gun to the nearest wall, leaving a lovely dent before turning and exiting, only slightly aware of what she had done. _

"Ah, so you did punch him. He was telling Walter that, yet Walter refused to listen. He trusts you, you realize."

Seras moaned angrily into her fists as she ducked her head and brought her knees to her head.

"I know Master… I didn't mean to…" Alucard chuckled lightly as he thought back to what she had said. With a light smile on his lips, he turned towards her and grinned.

"You truly think that I am the highest rank?" She flushed even darker than she already was. This was definitely not her day…

_A/N: Another short chapter, but I want the story to be at least three chapters. And I still have two more chapters left to do at least. So, I'm terribly sorry all of you out there who were expecting more. My brain just doesn't really want to work right now, and I'm having problems writing things right now… Well, in any case, I hope to get another chapter up before I'm eighty. As always, I remain, your humble servant._

_u.u_


	3. Today is WHAT?

_Disclaimer:_ Hey dudes and dudettes! Yup! I SO do not own Hellsing.

_Chapter Three_

"So, Police Girl, was that all of the day?" Seras Victoria one more lifted her head, crimson eyes settling on her Master who was sitting in her chair, legs propped up on the table. Looking a bit distraught, she shook her head.

"No… First, I had to go see Sir Integra…"

_Trudging her way with a sullen look about her, Seras entered the mansion. Most of her anger had dissipated, leaving only that bittersweet feeling of sadness with a hint of depression lingering about her person._

"_Ms. Victoria?" Pausing in her travels towards the bathroom, the Police Girl turned slowly, already slouching over in defeat; she wasn't about to bathe anytime soon. Even without turning around, Seras knew that voice by heart._

"_Y-Yes Walter?" Walter smiled encouragingly at her from their short distance apart. He seemed apathetic; as though he knew about the terrible day she'd been through. Keeping his distance from the exhausted vampire, Walter gestured towards Sir Integra's office._

"_Sir Integra has requested that you come and speak with her."_

"_Am I in trouble? And do I have to go now? I really wanna bathe…" Seras trailed off. She'd finished her mission, and the only thing she wanted to do take a long, hot shower in peace and silence, maybe read a bit in her room, then SLEEP. The elder retainer chuckled as he gently took her elbow and guided her towards Sir Integra's office._

"_Have you done something to get yourself in trouble?" The Police Girl mumbled something under her breath, clearly avoiding the question. Walter chuckled and continued onward, no longer guiding her. He wouldn't say it, but Seras knew. She stank; like sweat, death, dirt, and grime. Then again, she did have a vampire's nose… Maybe only she could smell it!_

_Glancing down at herself, still following diligently behind Walter, Seras found herself repressing a groan. She seemed to be bathed in blood. Her regulation socks were torn and blood-stained; her shoes seemed to be a completely different shade shade, and her skirt… her shirt… The Police Girl shivered. There was only so much one could endure in one short day, and this young lady was reaching her limit. Though most of her wounds had healed, she hadn't 'eaten', so to speak, in a few days. Most of that was due to the lack of blood, though she would never admit to it… However, she was prepared to take a sip or two if it meant that this never ending ache and soreness would disappear with it._

_Rolling her neck side to side and stretching slightly, Seras was already imagining how wonderful the steaming hot water would feel on her freezing, dirty, and sore vampire flesh._

_"We're here. Sir Integra is expecting you; feel free to venture on in." With an encouraging smile and a pat on her back, Walter turned and exited, presumably to get her some blood… At least, that was what she was hoping._

_With a deep breath, the young vampress pushed open the two large, heavy doors and poked her head in._

_"S-Sir Integra? You wanted to see me?" The heir to the Hellsing legacy sat at her desk, immersed in piles, upon piles, upon piles of paperwork. In fact, Seras couldn't even SEE Sir Integra, as the woman was completely hidden by the stacks of papers. For a moment, Seras remained silent, waiting for Sir Integra to acknowledge her. However, when the Police Girl went ignored, she quietly and subtly sidled her way in, slowly shutting the door behind her. _

_For the next few minutes, she remained standing, shuffling her tired and maggot filled shoes left and right in an attempt to rid herself of the exhaustion creeping its way into her legs. _

_"Ms. Victoria." Seras snapped to attention._

_"Y-Yes, Sir Integra?"_

_"I'd like a full report; leave NOTHING out. Normally I wouldn't ask you; however, the agent who generally gives the reports has been… Currently disabled." _

_Seras winced. She WOULD have attacked the one soldier who gave the reports, wouldn't she? _

_"May I sit?"_

_"If you can find a place to sit."_

_Tilting her head curiously to the side, Seras looked about, crimson orbs eyeing the usually empty chairs with disdain. Every chair, every corner, every little place that she could have sat on had been covered with paperwork. Paperwork, and books. The young vampire's eyes widened; is this what Sir Integra had to deal with on a daily basis? _

_In any case, there was no place for her to sit, especially since it would have been improper to sit on the floor. And so, for the next two and a half hours, Seras stood, completely upright, and recounted every last detail, save the loss of her father's ring. She didn't think Sir Integra would care; not while there was so much to do._

_By the time she was finished, her throat was parched and already she could taste the cool, thirst-quenching blood which she prayed awaited her in her chamber._

_"Is that all?" Seras nodded, completely forgetting to answer verbally. Luckily, Sir Integra let it go. In fact, the Hellsing Heir actually glanced up, pen slack in her hand. Her eyes narrowed and she nodded back, an air of understanding circling around her. _

_"That'll be all, Agent Victoria. You may be excused." _

_Seras slowly nodded, feeling as though she were trapped in a molasses or thick mud as she turned and exited the room. She was woozy, whether it was because she'd stood for the past two and a half hours, knees locked recounting the mission or because she hadn't eaten in a few days, and all she wanted was to bathe, eat, and sleep._

"Well… I'll admit life can get rather dull having to recount every detail, unless you relive all the bloody gory… like me… But really now Police Girl, that's not that bad."

Seras, who had dropped her head to rest gently against her knee, now lifted her head up to stare at her Master with an incredulous glare.

"You think THAT'S where my story ends? I'm not in my room yet, am I?"

Alucard was silent then, as he leaned back once more in the chair, propping his feet back up on the table, preparing himself for the rest of her story.

The young vampress sighed; while her Master may not seem to care, at least he was letting her vent… Sighing softly, Seras leaned her head back so that it was resting gently against her bed frame. Not quite as comfortable as she'd have liked, but she didn't necessarily care…

_Exhausted, dirty, and dying for some blood, Seras Victoria trudged past the members of Hellsing, each bustling about on various tasks and errands. Most of them swerved from her path, desperate not to run into the fowl smelling thing that was Seras Victoria. Her path was straight and true, as there was only one place this vampire wanted to go; the bathroom. Already she could feel the hot, soothing water and this caused her to speed up._

_Sneaking into her room, Seras grabbed the first pair of clean clothing and towel she could find and exited her room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind her._

_Yawning loudly and rubbing at her eyes, Seras wandered into the nearest bathroom and closed the door behind her, locking it behind her with a half-hearted motion. Dropping the clothes and towel on the counter beside the shower, Seras slid out of her disgusting uniform, dropping it on the ground outside of the shower. Vaguely the Police Girl wondered what Walter did with all of her old, useless clothing. Especially when it was in such a terrible state of disrepair._

_Shrugging it away, Seras turned the water on up to the highest temperature it could go to. Once her hand began to tingle, something she had become used to ever since she had become so very cold, the Police Girl slid herself in, muscles instantly loosening to the thrum of the water._

_The rhythm of the water, beating lightly on her worn body was soothing, calming, and all around lovely. After she'd been in the there for a minute or so, the heat began to penetrate through her freezing skin, giving her a pleasant tingling sensation all over her body. She almost felt warm, and it was… pleasant, to say the least._

_For the next forty-five minutes or so, everything seemed to be going right; no shampoo or conditioner or soap, for that matter, had gotten into her eyes, and most of the blood and grime had come right off. That was about where her good luck ended. As the Police Girl was washing the last of the conditioner of her hair, the curtain was suddenly pulled back, revealing her in her fullest to none other than Mr. Vernedead._

_The two soldiers of Hellsing stared at each for a moment, neither of them moving, nor speaking._

"_I… Saw the steam. I did not zee you, Ms. Victoria… Though I must admit, I 'ave certainly zeen you now, and zat is not a bad zing..."_

_And with that remark, Seras was snapped back into reality. With a screech loud enough to rival any sonar bat, the young vampress had shut off the water and grabbed at her towel, which she now saw was rather pink and rather fluffy and, more importantly, rather small._

_"GET OUT OF HER PIP! OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!!!!!!!!!"_

_It took him a moment to get his wits all gathered up, but once he'd gotten them all, and managed to get another glance at Seras' still semi-exposed body, he high-tailed it out of there._

_Standing there, mostly naked, dripping, and shamed into a bright shade of pink, Seras Victoria dashed back over to re-lock the door, which it seemed she hadn't properly locked in the first place. Groaning angrily at herself, her cheeks still bright red, she locked it, double, then triple checked. While it was still locked, the young vampress dressed quickly into what was luckily a pair of old pajama bottoms and a large shirt. _

_The steam from her excruciatingly hot shower was still furling around the room, obscuring Seras' view of the mirror and nearly everything else. This gave her the futile hope that Pip hadn't seen nearly as much as she'd thought._

_"Oh, who am I kidding? With the day I'm having, he's probably already told everyone else… How lovely…"_

_Now on the verge of tears, towel and dirty clothing bundled up together in her arms, Seras slumped the rest of the way back to her room, going through the motions which included smashing her foot against the door and, once inside, throwing the clothes at the opposite corner of her room._

_It was at this point when Seras decided to break down and actually have a sip of blood… Her stomach had gone far past the regular rumbling sounds and had resorted to feeling like it was about to cave in on her._

_Grasping at the gaping hole which was her stomach, Seras woozily went over to her bucket of iced blood, hopes rising when she saw that it was a new bucket. The rest of her day hadn't been all that good… Oh who was she kidding; it had been an awful day. And though she wouldn't tell her Master, she would at least be able to eat before turning in for the night._

_All thoughts, hopes, and even slight dreams of having her snack before sleep were abolished at seeing that her bucket of ice was empty. Beside it, a business card. Lifting it up, a curious and confused expression visible in her facial features, Seras squinted and read;_

_"I.O.U? I.O.U!?!?!?!?" Slamming the bucket against the wall, Seras shoved the business card into her mouth and swallowed it all on in big gulp, a strange rage burning in her eyes._

_The rage lasted about thirty seconds before she had crumbled to the ground in a sobbing mess._

"And that… Master… is where you found me…"

"Well… I'll admit… That does sound like a fairly bad day, and I didn't mean to have stolen your blood… But really Police Girl, is that all?"

Lifting her head, eyes fresh once more with tears, up from the back of the bed frame, Seras locked eyes with her Master.

As the tears began to overflow, Seras opened her mouth.

"But Master!" She wailed. "Today is my BIRTHDAY!"

_A/N: I feel bad; I haven't updated in what feels like forever… I guess that I was just having some problems with writing. With school and everything, I don't have as much time as I'd like to devote to writing… You'll have to forgive me if this isn't as good as it should be… I'm tired and I don't quite feel like myself, so it probably won't sound like me… Oh, and if some events don't necessarily match up, ignore it and smile because you know you love me. I'll try to update as soon as possible… As per usual, please R & R, as the reviews make me happy._

_Always, the Author._


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